Girl animals and boy animals

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Liz spends part of her time at my house and part of her time at Dad’s house.  There are pets at each house.   All are fixed and all are rescues.

 

My pets:

Missy – female terrier mutt of some sort

Nushi – female cat

Billie – female cat

 

Dad’s pets:

Bakemono – male cat

Senor Peaches – male cat, obvs

Whispurr – female cat

 

Bakemono and Peach do not like each other.  To communicate their dislike for each other and attempt to occupy each other’s territory, they spray.  Liz says, “Whispurr doesn’t pee on the floor or the walls, because she’s a girl, and she thinks that’s disgusting.  And whispurr is a smart kitty but Bakemono sometimes thinks derp, and Peacho always thinks derp derp derp!”

The other day, Twin Bro came over for coffee.  He stayed for about an hour, Liz watched Sesame Street, we talked about “boring grownup things,” Twin Bro mentioned something stupid that Bakemono and Peach had done, and we had a nice and mellow time.    Then he left.  Liz said, “Oh, good.  Now we’re all girls, so everything can be quiet and peace.”

(I really wonder what version of reality she’s seeing…the terrierist destroys things on a regular basis, every creature in the house raises her voice at least once a day,  there’s plenty of running and horseplay…our home is more mosh pit than tea party most of the time)

Thanksgiving weekend silliness

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Liz’s thoughts on the Thanksgiving Day parade:

“MOM!  We have to go there and watch the parade at there, outside!  It’s in New York City.  That’s where Sesame Street is!  I will go there and ride on a float.”

But that wasn’t enough:

“Mom, maybe I could live at New York City.  I could have an apartment with fabulous girlfriends in it, and I could watch the parade at my apartment or I could be on the Sesame Street float.”  I asked her what her job would be, since living in NYC is expensive.  “I could just be on TV all the time.”

~

Punkin Chunkin:

I left the following message on Dad’s facebook wall:  Your daughter is designing Punkin Chunkin machines, including one so big that the operator must take an elevator to the top of the machine to load it.  She thinks you’ll build it, Twin Bro will “do the science and the maf,” and I will keep everyone safe.  ^_^

(Dad is the type of guy who thinks “No User Serviceable Parts Inside” means “There is fun stuff for me to play with in here!”)

She kept talking about “flying dust” for the pumpkins.  It took a little bit of ferreting out, but once she described putting the flying dust in the cannon to make the pumpkin go, I figured out that she was talking about gunpowder.  “Oh, that’s okay, Mom.  You’ll be there to keep everyone safe.”

~

Thanksgiving dinner itself, on our national bird:

Aunt:  Did you know that our founding fathers almost made the wild turkey our national bird, instead of the bald eagle?

Liz:  NO WAY.

Aunt:  What do you think of that?  Would you want a turkey as our national bird?

Liz:  I don’t know.

Aunt:  Well, what do you think of the bald eagle?

Liz:  I don’t know, I’ve never tried it before.

~

Black Friday:

Mom:  Can you believe that?!  There are people camping outside in tents, just so they can go to that store in the middle of the night and push and shove each other around to buy things they don’t need because they’re getting a deal.

Liz:  Oh, yeah, Mom.  We should do that so we could buy lots of things and get deals.

~

We did NOT go shopping.  We went to the science museum instead.  I took Liz to see the gems and minerals, which has become the Hall of Sparkly Things That Liz Really Really Wants.

“MOM!!  Did you see all that gold?  I want ALL OF IT.   And the diamonds, and the amethysts because they’re purple and I like purple now, and the silver, and the crystals…Mom, you should write down that I want all that gold for Christmas.”

~

Twin Bro is applying to medical school and I’m helping him proofread his application essays:

Liz:  What are you doing?

Mom:  I’m helping Twin Bro with his medical school application.  He’ll be telling medical schools why they should teach him how to be a doctor, so his answers need to be written well, with no mistakes.

Liz:  MOM.  Why isn’t he going to be a scientist?

Mom:  Well, because he likes people.  He likes to be nice to people and help them.  He wants to figure out why they’re sick and make them feel better and be healthy.

Liz:  Oh, okay.  Well, he should work at a kids doctor, so he could be nice to kids.

An exchange with Twin Bro

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This happened yesterday at Sunflower:
Twin Bro: Hey, there’s a cute dog.
Liz: Is it a tiny dog in a purse?
Twin Bro: No… it’s a big dog sitting by that bench.
Liz: [deep voice] Aww it’s a big dooooggggg… he’s cute like Bakemono…. (Bakemono is one of Dad’s cats)
Twin Bro:  Hey, could we put Bakemono in a purse?
Liz: NO! He couldn’t fit in such a small purse!
Twin Bro:  How about a big purse?
Liz: Well yeah. But he might get grumpy in there.
Twin Bro: Why?
Liz: CATS DON’T LIKE PURSES!!!!

One-liners from the weekend

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-A meteor is a kind of rock that lives in space.

-Volcanoes are where dinosaurs live.  And cave people live there, too.

-I am the most protective superhero in the world!  I am the strongest, fastest, karate choppingest girl ever and I can beat a big boss bad guy!

-I putted a grape on my milkshake because milkshakes have to have something on them to be fancy.

-Missy, we could buy you a barrel of monkeys if you want.

Liz’s latest good idea

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“Hey Mom, I just got a great idea!  What if buildings had rectangles in them that were on the ground?  That way, kids could watch all the bugs!  Grownups could watch them too.  And the rectangles would be clear like windows, so we could see through them and see what the bugs are doing.

We should tell the builders that!  You should find the people who build all the stores and daycares and houses, and tell them to put windows that look at the dirt so that everyone could learn something.”

A Halloween story, courtesy of Liz

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Once upon a time, there was a Kirby. (Yes, the pink balloon thing of 8-bit fame. –Mom)  She was a girl Kirby, and she dressed up like a princess and goed trick or treating.  She goed to lots of houses and eated all their candy.

Then she went to Munkenstein’s house.  Munkenstein said, “Oh, you look so pretty, Princess Kirby!  Here, you can have all my candy.”

The Kirby said, “Oh, thank you!”  And then she eated all his candy.

She goed to a witch’s house, and eated her so she could have witch power.  Then she could use magic any time she wanted!  She used magic to make a lot of candy and she shared it with Munkenstein.  The End.

Liz’s homework

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Part of Liz’s homework this week is something called “Creative Kettle Bones.”  (Yeah, I don’t know either)  Anyway, they’re word prompts.  I ask the questions, Liz answers them, and I write the answers down.

Here you go:

THE INGREDIENTS FOR A MAGIC POTION ARE…  Fruit, water, oil, a rainbow, and juice.

THE BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME I EVER SAW WAS…  That costume of those monsters that say “mahna mahna” and I want to be that for Halloween.

I KNOW THE HOUSE ON THE CORNER IS HAUNTED BECAUSE… It has spooky stuff.

LAST NIGHT AS I WAS PASSING THE GRAVEYARD… I saw some bad guys bury some junk.

O.o ?!