Category Archives: Exchanges

Mif Busters

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Luckily for me, Liz loves MythBusters. 

We watched the dog episode the other night (teach an old dog new tricks, beat the guard dog, beat the bloodhound, etc.).  Here’s what Liz took away from it:  “Dogs like smelling dog pee.  And foods.  And Mif Busters.”  When Grant built the robot cat and did his evil laugh, Liz said, “That’s not really alive!  It’s a robot.  Grant always builds a robot because it’s his job.  HAHAHAHAHA the dog just bited that robot!”

Speaking of Grant, we both think he’s pretty cute.  Sometimes when he’s on the screen, Liz will pretend to hug him.  One time, she pretended to take him out of the screen.  She led Pretend Grant up to me.  “Mom, this is Grant!”  She took a step back.  “That’s a introduce,” she whispered, “now you have to shake his hand.”

So, I shook hands with Pretend Grant, said I was a big fan, and asked if I could show him around town.  (note: I am not this slick with real-life attractive men)  Of course, since we were pretending, he said yes, so I asked for his phone number.  I messed around with my phone, and thought we were done.

Nope.  “Ring ring! Mom, Grant is calling you!”  While I pretended to talk on the phone, Liz grabbed a pen and an envelope and wrote numbers on it.  “Mom!  It’s his address so you could pick him up.” She shoved it in to my hand.  “But first you have to watch more Mif Busters!  Can we watch the ninjas one?”

The ninja episode has Adam getting his butt kicked, Adam attempting to walk on water, catching an arrow, and catching a sword.  The build team’s myth, catching a sword, is heavy on Grant being awesome.  He builds a robot (which Liz just loves), slams his hands together with the most force out of the build team, and swings a sword faster than either Kari or Tory.  So it’s a great episode.

At the very end, Jamie and Adam mix up a non-newtonian fluid, a mix of cornstarch and water thats apparent viscosity increases when subjected to stress.  This means you can walk on it.  Liz was enthralled by this stuff.  She was jumping up and down, cheering, yelling, laughing…she pointed at the TV and yelled, “I WANT THAT!”  She stepped closer so her finger was on the screen, on the fluid, and said, “I want a non-newtonian fluid for my five birthday!”

When I tried to get her in the bath, she threw a tantrum:  “I didn’t even get to see a explosion!”  Good thing we have the DVDs for another week, huh?

Questions and answers

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Liz asks me questions all the time, because she’s four.   I ask her questions, too, under the pretense of stimulating her mind and increasing her vocabulary.  Really, I’m just mining for funny stuff.  So here are some questions and answers.

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Liz:  What do pigs eat when they’re not at a farm or at someone’s home?

Me: [consults the googles]  Dude!  They’re walking garbage disposals!  Feral hogs, pigs that don’t live on farms or in homes, eat EVERYTHING.  They eat plants, bugs, dead animals, lizards, amphibians, birds, and small mammals.

Liz:  That’s not good.  They should only eat healthy foods.

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Me:  Liz, which of Santa’s reindeer are girls?

Liz:  Maybe if we’re really strong, we could flip the reindeer over and see which ones have girl parts and which ones have boy parts.

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Me:  I’m sick.  I have strep.

Liz:  Awww, poor fing!  Are you really sick?  If you get two streps, will you DIE?!

Me:  …………………………!

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Me:  Why do all Taylor Swift songs sound the same?

Liz:  Because maybe she likes songs that all sounds the same.  Or maybe she doesn’t know how to make other songs.

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Liz:  Who made Target?

Me:  Builders.

Liz:  Oh.  What are their names?

Me: ………………………!  I don’t know.

Liz:  Well, who made all the streets and the parking lots?  And who makes the houses?  Hey, WHO MADE COLORADO?!

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Liz:  Sometimes robots make cars.  I saw it on How It’s Made.  And sometimes robots make buses, too.  Do the robots that make cars talk to the robots that make buses?

Me:  I’m sure they could share information if they had to…

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Liz:  What is your car saying?

Me:  What.

Liz:  What is she finking in her brain?

Me:  Cars don’t have brains.

Liz:  Well if she had a brain and a mouf, she could talk.  So what is your car saying?

Me:  Ok…she’s saying, “It’s such a wonderful day for a drive across town!”

A funny story from Twin Bro

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Twin Bro just emailed me this awesomeness:

Liz was all tired and grumpy this morning because (as she whined to Dad) “my room is cold, and my blankets are warm!” We finally got ready and I was loading up my backpack. Peach walked out of my room, then I walked out with my backpack open, and of course this was the obvious conclusion:
Liz: :laughing hysterically:  DID YOU TRY TO PUT PEACH IN YOUR BACKPACK?! :more laughing:
me: Um… no. :halfheartedly chased Peach around with my backpack, for the lulz:
Liz: :has kittens:
Liz, after calming down: Maybe if you had a fatter backpack.
me: Huh?
Liz: Well, if you had a more fatter backpack, you could put Bakemono in it!
me: …sure. :LOL!:

Thanksgiving weekend silliness

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Liz’s thoughts on the Thanksgiving Day parade:

“MOM!  We have to go there and watch the parade at there, outside!  It’s in New York City.  That’s where Sesame Street is!  I will go there and ride on a float.”

But that wasn’t enough:

“Mom, maybe I could live at New York City.  I could have an apartment with fabulous girlfriends in it, and I could watch the parade at my apartment or I could be on the Sesame Street float.”  I asked her what her job would be, since living in NYC is expensive.  “I could just be on TV all the time.”

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Punkin Chunkin:

I left the following message on Dad’s facebook wall:  Your daughter is designing Punkin Chunkin machines, including one so big that the operator must take an elevator to the top of the machine to load it.  She thinks you’ll build it, Twin Bro will “do the science and the maf,” and I will keep everyone safe.  ^_^

(Dad is the type of guy who thinks “No User Serviceable Parts Inside” means “There is fun stuff for me to play with in here!”)

She kept talking about “flying dust” for the pumpkins.  It took a little bit of ferreting out, but once she described putting the flying dust in the cannon to make the pumpkin go, I figured out that she was talking about gunpowder.  “Oh, that’s okay, Mom.  You’ll be there to keep everyone safe.”

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Thanksgiving dinner itself, on our national bird:

Aunt:  Did you know that our founding fathers almost made the wild turkey our national bird, instead of the bald eagle?

Liz:  NO WAY.

Aunt:  What do you think of that?  Would you want a turkey as our national bird?

Liz:  I don’t know.

Aunt:  Well, what do you think of the bald eagle?

Liz:  I don’t know, I’ve never tried it before.

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Black Friday:

Mom:  Can you believe that?!  There are people camping outside in tents, just so they can go to that store in the middle of the night and push and shove each other around to buy things they don’t need because they’re getting a deal.

Liz:  Oh, yeah, Mom.  We should do that so we could buy lots of things and get deals.

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We did NOT go shopping.  We went to the science museum instead.  I took Liz to see the gems and minerals, which has become the Hall of Sparkly Things That Liz Really Really Wants.

“MOM!!  Did you see all that gold?  I want ALL OF IT.   And the diamonds, and the amethysts because they’re purple and I like purple now, and the silver, and the crystals…Mom, you should write down that I want all that gold for Christmas.”

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Twin Bro is applying to medical school and I’m helping him proofread his application essays:

Liz:  What are you doing?

Mom:  I’m helping Twin Bro with his medical school application.  He’ll be telling medical schools why they should teach him how to be a doctor, so his answers need to be written well, with no mistakes.

Liz:  MOM.  Why isn’t he going to be a scientist?

Mom:  Well, because he likes people.  He likes to be nice to people and help them.  He wants to figure out why they’re sick and make them feel better and be healthy.

Liz:  Oh, okay.  Well, he should work at a kids doctor, so he could be nice to kids.

An exchange with Twin Bro

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This happened yesterday at Sunflower:
Twin Bro: Hey, there’s a cute dog.
Liz: Is it a tiny dog in a purse?
Twin Bro: No… it’s a big dog sitting by that bench.
Liz: [deep voice] Aww it’s a big dooooggggg… he’s cute like Bakemono…. (Bakemono is one of Dad’s cats)
Twin Bro:  Hey, could we put Bakemono in a purse?
Liz: NO! He couldn’t fit in such a small purse!
Twin Bro:  How about a big purse?
Liz: Well yeah. But he might get grumpy in there.
Twin Bro: Why?
Liz: CATS DON’T LIKE PURSES!!!!

Dad’s trip

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Dad is going to Salt Lake City for work.  Liz and I had this little discussion:

Mom: Has Dad started packing yet?

Liz:  No.

Mom:  What do you think he should bring?

Liz:  A toothbrush and some toothpaste, so he can brush his teeth.

Mom:  What else do you think he needs?  Clothes, maybe?

Liz:  Yeah.  And SOCKS!

Me:  Definitely socks.  He’s going on an airplane.  That might be boring.

Liz:  Yeah.  He should bring some plain white paper.

Me:  What could he do with that?

Liz:  Well, he’d have to bring some crayons and some markers, too, and then he could draw.

Me:  Oh yeah.  That works.  Do you think he’ll get lonely?

Liz: NO!!  Silly.  There are always lots of people on an airplane.

Me:  Good point.  Do you think he’ll miss the cats?

Liz:  Well, he could see them when he gets back.

Me:  Do you think he’ll miss you?

Liz:  :sigh:  He’ll see me when he gets back, too, so it’s okay.

Me:  Well, you’re pretty cool.  Dad misses you whenever you’re with me, and I miss you when you’re with him.  Maybe we should call him.

Liz:  YEAH!  And we could make him a card, and put it in the mailbox, and then the mailman could take it to … where’s he going?  The airplane!  The mailman could take it to him at the airplane.

A couple quick exchanges

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Me:  Hey, Liz, would you like to be a firefighter?

Liz:  Nah.  That doesn’t sound like a fun job.

Me:  Why not?

Liz:  Well, climbing a ladder…worrying about falling off…kind of scary.  And then you might have to do a fire, and that’s scary too and it might burn you…and what else do they do?

Me:  Help the paramedics on medical calls.  You’d have to lift heavy patients.

Liz:  Oh.  Well then I’d have to be strong.  I want to be giant strong, so I could snap a tree.

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Me:  Twin Bro wants to know if you’d do his physics homework.

Liz:  Sure.

Me:  It’s about light and velocity and mass, do you understand those things?

Liz:  No.  But that’s okay, because homework is about learning.

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Liz:  MOM MOM MOM!! WATCH SPONGEBOB! HE HAS THE POWER OF ROCK N ROLL AND IT MAKES HIM HAVE A DIFFERENT VOICE THAT’S SO COOL!!

Me:  I know.  I like this episode, I watch it all the time with you.

Liz:  BUT IT IS STILL SO COOL!

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Liz:  I’m a magical princess and I’m mixing up a potion to make all the things happy!  You should ask me what things are in it.

Me:  Okay.  Does it have roses?

Liz:  Yes.

Me:  What about kittens?  Does it have kittens?

Liz:  Yes.

Me:  What do the kittens think about that?!

Liz:  Well.  They like it.  The potion makes everything happy and everything awesome so the kittens like to be in it even though they get wet.

Me:  Cool.  What else is in there?

Liz:  A rainbow.  I putted it in with my magic.  And Don’t Stop Believin’ is in there too.