Monthly Archives: September 2011

A couple quick exchanges

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Me:  Hey, Liz, would you like to be a firefighter?

Liz:  Nah.  That doesn’t sound like a fun job.

Me:  Why not?

Liz:  Well, climbing a ladder…worrying about falling off…kind of scary.  And then you might have to do a fire, and that’s scary too and it might burn you…and what else do they do?

Me:  Help the paramedics on medical calls.  You’d have to lift heavy patients.

Liz:  Oh.  Well then I’d have to be strong.  I want to be giant strong, so I could snap a tree.

~

Me:  Twin Bro wants to know if you’d do his physics homework.

Liz:  Sure.

Me:  It’s about light and velocity and mass, do you understand those things?

Liz:  No.  But that’s okay, because homework is about learning.

~

Liz:  MOM MOM MOM!! WATCH SPONGEBOB! HE HAS THE POWER OF ROCK N ROLL AND IT MAKES HIM HAVE A DIFFERENT VOICE THAT’S SO COOL!!

Me:  I know.  I like this episode, I watch it all the time with you.

Liz:  BUT IT IS STILL SO COOL!

~

Liz:  I’m a magical princess and I’m mixing up a potion to make all the things happy!  You should ask me what things are in it.

Me:  Okay.  Does it have roses?

Liz:  Yes.

Me:  What about kittens?  Does it have kittens?

Liz:  Yes.

Me:  What do the kittens think about that?!

Liz:  Well.  They like it.  The potion makes everything happy and everything awesome so the kittens like to be in it even though they get wet.

Me:  Cool.  What else is in there?

Liz:  A rainbow.  I putted it in with my magic.  And Don’t Stop Believin’ is in there too.

Maf

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Liz had me do math problems last night.  There are a bunch of addition, subtraction, and multiplication problems in her Hello Kitty coloring book.  This happened…
 
Liz:  Mom, you should do all this maf.
 
Me:  Okay.  [does all the problems while thinking out loud…arithmetic was never my strong point]
 
Liz:  Are you all done?  [looks at problems]  Oh, wow, that was very good!  Here, you can have a sticker.  [puts Hello Kitty sticker on my shirt]  Now everyone knows you’re a big fan of Hello Kitty.  And if they ask, you can say you got it because you did your maf.  Good job!

A trip to the vet

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At the Children’s Museum, there is a pretend veterinary office.  Little kids get lab coats, toy medical implements, and stuffed animals to work on.  Liz just eats this up, and we always spend lots of time in the vet’s office when we go to the Children’s Museum.

Yesterday’s visit started with me bringing in “Curly the Poodle,” a black poodle with a foot injury.

Dr. Liz said, “Oh, poor thing!  What happened?”  I explained that Curly was out running, she stepped on her knee wrong, and then didn’t want to put weight on that leg.  Dr. Liz said, “Oh.  Okay.  Well, we can fix her with a band-aid.  And I have to check if she has any splinters and pull them out.  And then we could do a checkup, so you know that she’s healthy.  But she should do lazy things today, like lay on the couch and watch Planet’s Funniest Animals.” 

After a minute or so of pulling splinters (OMG, did she fall on a cactus?!), Dr. Liz said, “She just had a puppy!”  She pulled out a toy boxer puppy.  “No wonder she was acting weird.  Now you have a puppy.  And she’s a girl puppy.  And you could have a contest with your friends to name her.”

Her next patients were Billie and Nushi, black and white furry toys that look like the cats at home.  Nushi was coming in because she wasn’t grooming herself (true story; we’ll need to go to the vet this weekend), and Billie was tagging along for a checkup.

At this point, Dr. Liz realized that maybe she should ask some questions.  So she ran over to the computer and pretended to type.  “What does Nushi eat?” she asked.

“Dry cat food,” I answered.

“Did she ever go to another vet?”

“Yes, she went to another vet before I moved across town.  I have her business card if you want it.”

“Does she get exercise?” she asked.

“Only when the dog chases her,” I answered.  “Nushi is lazy.”

“Maybe she doesn’t groom herself because she’s too lazy!” Dr. Liz said.  “I could just groom her.”

“That’s true,” I said, “she is very lazy.  But up until recently, she had been grooming herself.”

“Hmm.”  Liz grabbed the phone.  “I’m gonna call my boyfriend.  He’s also a vet.”  She punched in a few numbers.  “Hello?  Oh, hi honey!  This lady’s cat isn’t grooming herself and she might be sick.  Uh huh.  Okay.  Yeah.  Okay, I love you, bye!”

I asked, “What did he say?”

“He said, awww, poor kitty!”

Nushi got a thorough grooming (including a “baf,” a manicure, and a bow on her head), and then it was time to see Billie.  I told Dr. Liz that my only concern about Billie was that she’s super old.

“Is she a billion?” Dr. Liz asked.

“Well, she’s 22 in people years, so…yeah, pretty much.  How should I make sure such an old cat stays healthy?”

“Feed her good food, and take her to the vet a lot, and be nice to her.”

“Alright,” I said, “but how much exercise should she be getting?”

“Well,” Dr. Liz said, “Cats can sometimes be lazy about their exercise.  They like to lay down and watch things, and take naps, and groom themselves.”

“Billie plays tag with the dog,” I said.  (she really does!)  “If anything, I worry that she’s exercising too much.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s a problem.  Cats are lazy, and as long as she only exercises sometimes, she’ll be healthy.”

Billie also got groomed, but Dr. Liz said, “She wouldn’t let me put a bow on her head.”

One-liners about two boyfriends

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“I have two boyfriends.  One is L and one is J.  L sometimes razzes at me when J gives me huggies!”

“I tried to give L a kissy but he runned away.  So I had to catch him and then give him one.”

“Maybe I will marry J.  But I don’t want to have any babies, so I won’t make my DNA mix up with his DNA.”

(said at 3:00am)  “Mom, I think I will marry L instead.  He has yellow hair like me.  And we could still don’t have babies.  Just give each other kissies.”

“J is my boyfriend because he acts like my boyfriend.  And L is my boyfriend because he has yellow hair and he’s cute.”

“I know what to do with boyfriends.  Sometimes you marry them!  And you go to the wedding and wear a white dress.”

“Dad listens to talking podcasts.  My boyfriends shouldn’t listen to talking podcasts because talking annoys my ears and my whole body.  They should listen to the mahna mahna song and the Wiggles.”

Definitions

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Peace:  Peace is when everyone is all love.

Gemini:  Gemini means twins, because there are two of them!  (in reference to the Gemini roller coaster)

Computer:  A computer makes all the things easier.  You can type in a website and it will do whatever you want, or you can push on the buttons at the top and then it does things too.

Appetite:  When you have a appetite, that means you’re really crazy for something.  Like a food.

Taylor Swift:  That’s a girl who wants to be a princess.  She looks almost like a princess, but she doesn’t have a tiara, so she needs to get one.  But she’s pretty.  And she could sing.  So maybe she will be a princess!

Appreciate:  Appreciate is love and thank you.  (very accurate! –Mom)

Soccer:  Soccer is where you can’t use your hands except if you’re the goalie.  And if you’re a dog, you can’t use your mouth.

Oh Say Can You Say…with silly words

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We have a book of tongue twisters.  Liz loves it.  But sometimes, she asks, “Can I make up silly words?”

THERE IS ONLY ONE CORRECT ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION

 

 

“The first fish is really fresh.

The second fish is also really fresh, but that one’s for the kitty.  It has catnip inside of it.

The third fish is the freshest fish, so you should get that one.”

Other tongue twisters of note include:

“This guy’s name is Bill.

He fixes dinosaur bones.  He uses lots of pins.

This dinosaur breaks a lot.  Maybe he should glue it.”

~

“Which one is more? 

A simple thimble, or a piece of wood with a nail in it?

Nope.  It’s a nook zook wook super blah blah.”

 

 

 

 

 

How Liz acquired the words to bring the funny

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(A friend of mine asked me some questions about Liz’s language development last year, when Liz had just turned three.  This is what I wrote back. –Mom)

I have been reinforcing language with Liz ever since she was a baby.  I knew it would be frustrating to deal with a baby who couldn’t articulate what she wanted, so I consciously decided that she needs to learn language ASAP.
 
I started talking to her once I got enough sleep to string together a coherent sentence.   When she was three months old, I went back to work.  I worked overnight, and would get home as she was waking up.  I’d talk to her as I was feeding her:  “Hi, Miss Elizabeth!  Did you have a good night?  Did you sleep?  I hope so!  I worked all night.  I told the ambulances where to go.  My friend was nice to me, she gave me a hug!  I know YOU like hugs, you’re a snuggly baby.”  …and so on.
 
We’ve been reading to Liz since the day she was born.  I remember Dad reading Dr. Seuss books to Liz in the hospital.  When one of us was up with her during the day, and she was in the mood to be awake but we were in the mood to read our own books or magazines, we’d read aloud to her from those.  She’s heard bits and pieces of the Harry Potter series, a little bit of Noam Chomsky, and a few articles about swimsuit shopping and makeup (don’t judge!).
 
I’ve always pointed things out to Liz.  I’m sure I looked silly walking through the grocery store, pushing a cart with a car seat in it, talking about yummy green broccoli and big, heavy jugs of milk.  I talked to her in a high, animated tone of voice, but didn’t dumb down any of the words I used. 

 
I am SO glad that Liz can pronounce most words now.  When she was about 18 months old, we were watching a DVD.  She kept saying, “Mushum.  Mushum.”  I told her I didn’t understand her.  She started pointing at the TV.  “Mushum!  Muh shum!”  I still didn’t get it.  She stomped up to the TV and started yelling at it and making the sign for “more”.  “MUH SHUM! WANT SHUM! SHUM!”  Finally, I realized that Barney was on, and she was telling me that she’d rather watch Fireman Sam again.  :facepalm:
 
She used to call every black cat a “Billie” and every tabby cat a “Moe,” after the black cat and the tabby cat at home.

 
Since she’s been going to daycare, she’s been picking up all kinds of new stuff.  She calls her pacifier a “binky” because that’s what her friend L calls it.  She used to call her Crocs “clogs” because that’s what Grandma M taught her, but since she’s been going to daycare, they’re “Crocs.”
 
She went for a walk with Twin Bro around Christmas (she was about 2 1/2).  Twin Bro lives in a neighborhood with old houses, some of which have lions out front.  Some of the lions had bows on them for Christmas.  Liz called the plain lions “lions,” but the ones with bows were “Christmas dogs.”  She told Twin Bro, “Santa comes and brings us presents.  The presents has bows on them…just like little dogs has!”
 
Now she’s learning grammar, and is in that stage where she knows the rules, but not the exceptions.  So she’ll say things like “runned” or “swimmed” instead of “ran” or “swam.”   She’ll tell me, “I want to go to home” (or “I want to go to [our address]” if she thinks she needs to emphasize), or “I want to stay at here.” 

She’s also learning expressions.  The other night, she told Dad, “I shouldn’t worry about taking a bath tonight.”